I’m on a walk with Vian. We’re strategizing about this new Donkey Kong vs Mario game.

Vian: How can we make sure we finish the levels before the timer runs out?
  Me: What if we go for different keys in parallel?
Vian: Oh yeah! I'll go for the silver key and you can go for the gold key?

   <silver key is usually harder>

  Me: Why? You don't trust me to get the silver key?
Vian: No. Usually the silver key is harder to get.
  Me: Right! You don't trust me to get it. You think I'm incompetent.
Vian: No. You're just bad.
  Me: Thanks for explaining it to me. Jackass.

Nothing but raw and brutal honesty.