Sempi (my 6yo son) and I have this tradition of sharing our problems and asking each other’s opinion on how to solve it. We do this while we walk to his school. We’ve been doing this since he was 3. Here’s an example from Portland. Me: When I bike to work, I have to wait a long time for the elevator. Sempi (3yo): You should just build a ramp to your 28th floor, so you can just bike all the way up....

Some nights I read a book about Gandhi to Sempi for bedtime. There is an incident in Gandhi’s life when he’s thrown out of a first-class coach in South Africa because he is not white. I told Sempi that it was an injustice and it doesn’t happen anymore. He listened intently and nodded approvingly. The next night I’m reading a comic about superheros and he asks me, “How come everyone in Justice League is white?...

This happened a few weeks ago. The kids are having a funtime playing with their mom. I enter the room, which usually sets off the anxiety for Vian. Vian: I don’t need you, appa. Yoshi: That’s not very nice. Vian: Go away, appa. Yoshi: Can you say something nice to appa? Vian: Appa, can you pleeease go away? Me: Thank you! That’s much better. 

One of the ways we trained Sempi to say “Please” and “Thank you” is by asking him “What do you say?” after he receives a favor from someone. With that context in mind, this conversation happened in the car. Vian: Can I have that monster truck, Sempi? Sempi: Here you go. Vian takes the truck. Sempi being the responsible older brother wants to teach Vian good manners. Sempi: What do you say, Vian?...

Vian is having lunch. I’m still making a plate for myself. He requests some water, so brought him a cup of water. Vian: Appa, this is too watery. Me: I’m glad to hear that Vian. The water is supposed to be watery. Vian: No appa, I can’t drink it. Me: Why not? Vian: Because it is too watery. I walked over to him to check it out. He was complaining because I filled the water to the brim and he couldn’t drink out of it....